Education of the Stars
Why do we listen to movie stars? Why do people snatch up millions of magazines a year because they featured an interview with Robin Williams or Halle Berry? What makes people take notice when Madonna announces she has adopted yet another child from a third-world country? This phenomenon is difficult to explain. Movie stars make us cry, laugh, and ponder. We watch them for hours. We try to dress and act like them. We steal their jokes and pick-up lines. And when they get up to say something, the media shows up to capture each second. Some can be seen promoting world peace, others promoting world idiocy. Some of their attempts can be very helpful (i.e. Bono vs. AIDS in Africa), others just plain foolhardy and disastrous (i.e. Hanoi Jane). Needless to say, we place a huge amount of trust and credibility on our Hollywood celebrities.
Are they worth listening to? Granted, the entertainment industry
is one that has always placed a higher premium on experience than
on education. However, given that so many of them raise their
voices outside of the film realm, we thought it would be worthwhile
to look at the educational backgrounds for some of Hollywood’s
most influential stars. How many of them can match the
characters they play? How many of them are actually qualified to
speak to the complex and multi-faceted problems that afflict the
globe? See who makes the grade below:
Will Smith - Despite rumors that the Fresh
Prince was once accepted to the pre-engineering program at none
other than MIT, Smith has made it clear that he was never accepted
to or attended the prestigious school. He does, however, admit to
having high SAT scores. Unfortunately, test scores are regularly
criticized as being poor indicators of performance. Therefore,
personally, I’m more apt to listen to his solider-scientist Robert
Neville in this season’s I Am Legend or his cocky Air
Force fighter pilot in Independence Day.
B
Brad Pitt - Having seen Pitt as the buffed up
Achilles and a super-assassin opposite Ms. Jolie, it’s not hard to
imagine him at Kickapoo High School (you’ve gotta love those
hideous English spellings of Indian words), where he was involved
in sports, debating, student government, and acting.
Following high school, he attended the Missouri School of
Journalism at the University of Missouri - Columbia. Journalism
isn’t a far cry from Pitt’s current humanitarian work in ravaged
New Orleans where he is creating affordable housing in the Ninth
Ward for Katrina survivors. Do I believe this role? Yeah.
A
Paris Hilton - This key member of the Triad of
Embarrassing Bombshells attended Marywood-Palm Valley School in
Rancho Mirage, California her freshman year of high school, Dwight
School in New York for her sophomore and junior years, and then a
few months at Canterbury School in New Milford, Connecticut before
dropping out. Despite her lack of opportunity and resources, Hilton
pulled herself up by her bootstraps and eventually earned a GED.
Way to go! Seriously, when I hear that Paris decided to become a
spokesperson against fur and for vegetarianism, I can’t help but
think that she would do more damage than good to any given cause.
Note to all do-gooders: until Paris grows enough of an intellect to
stop setting herself up for public floggings, keep her away from
your cause.
D
Sean Penn - This lauded actor and director
briefly attended Santa Monica College, where he studied Auto
Mechanics and Speech but did not graduate. If you’ve attended
college, you know that Auto Mechanics and
History, Political Science, or International Relations are on
opposite ends of the spectrum. Forgive me then if I don’t quite
take Penn’s buddy-buddy relationship with dictator Hugo Chavez or
Penn’s views on American foreign policy seriously. As
well-intentioned as he may be, Penn doesn’t have the training or
experience to justify his claims. His movies are great, but I’m not
believing this role.
C
Denzel Washington - Before he played an
anti-apartheid activist, a black Union soldier, Malcolm X, a
detective, a drug kingpin, and a hard-driving football coach,
Washington attended the University of Oklahoma. He eventually
dropped out but attained a B.A. in Drama and Journalism from
Fordham University in 1977. Interesting tidbit: Washington played
collegiate basketball under coach P.J. Carlesimo. He still found
time to pursue his interest in acting, and after graduation he went
to the San Francisco American Conservatory Theatre for one year. As
far as causes go, Washington has been an avid supporter of the
Girls & Boys Club of America, having benefited from their
services as a child. Maybe that’s why he
plays the role so well.
A+
Sylvester Stallone - In an unexpected example
of a book that can’t be judged by its cover, Stallone, who will
forever be labeled as the dull tool Rocky Balboa, is actually a
scholar. He attended a private boarding school and then the
American College of Switzerland in Laysin and the University of
Miami for three years. He came within a few credit hours of
graduation before deciding to drop out and pursue an acting career.
Like his little-engine-that-could onscreen alter ego, Stallone
never gave up and later requested that his acting and life
experiences be accepted in exchange for his remaining credits. He
was granted a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) degree by the President
of the University of Miami in 1999. Stallone isn’t one to open his
mouth very often, but I’ll give him my ear when he does.
B
Angelina Jolie - Jolie had a rough go at it
through high school. She studied at the Lee Strasburg Theatre
Institute for two years as a child. She attended and graduated from
Beverly Hills High but never went on to college. Years later, Jolie
is known worldwide for her acting skills, martial arts prowess, and
her bee-stung lips. No Hollywood celebrity has been as active in
the international scene as of late as Jolie. She is a Goodwill
Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner of Refugees
(UNHCR) and visits refugee camps worldwide. She has been highly
visible in meetings with U.S. lawmakers and has received numerous
distinctions for her efforts. Which begs the question: is she
qualified to speak to these issues? Perhaps not from an expert’s
perspective. However, one cannot argue with her drive and
sincerity. Maybe some causes don’t require a degree.
A
Samuel L. Jackson - Jackson attended Riverside
High, playing the French horn and trumpet in the school orchestra.
He later attended Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia, where he
co-founded the "Just Us Theater" and graduated in 1972. As far as
causes go, Jackson is as authentic as they come. He was a part of
the civil rights movement of the 1960s and was an usher at the
funeral for Martin Luther King, Jr. He held the Morehouse Board of
Trustees hostage, demanding reform at the school. He was suspended
for two years but returned to get a Bachelor of Arts degree in
Drama. Following, he got involved buying guns for the Black
Panthers. Would I give much credence to Mr. Jackson talking about
global warming? Not likely. Would I believe anything he said about
civil rights in America? Heck yeah.
A-
Madonna - She attended Rochester Adams High
School, where she was a straight-A student and a member of the
cheerleading squad. Madonna received a dance scholarship to the University of Michigan
after graduating from high school. After being convinced by her
ballet teacher, she left the University of Michigan at the end of
her sophomore year in 1977 and moved to New York City to pursue a
dance career. Madonna has always been a controversial figure,
promoting open sexuality, openly railing against the Catholic
church and the Bush administration, warning against global warming,
adopting children from third-world countries, and stirring up
Jewish scholars in Israel. Should we consider her a credible voice
in these matters? Doubtful.
B-
Lucy Liu - All that and brains, too, apparently. This Charlie’s Angels star graduated from New York City’s prestigious Stuyvesant High School in 1986. She attended New York University for one year, before transferring to the University of Michigan, where she graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Asian Languages and Cultures. In addition to speaking five languages, Liu has been involved in several causes. She was a spokesperson for a breast cancer awareness fundraiser, is a U.S. Fund for UNICEF ambassador, has produced documentaries to raise awareness of human trafficking, and has been recognized as the most well-known Asian American in the media today. Looks like a good fit to me. B+
About the author Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.
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Tags: Angelina Jolie, Applications, Brad Pitt, celebrity, degrees, Denzel Washington, Madonna, Paris Hilton, Sean Penn, Sylvester Stallone, Will Smith
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How much sense does it make to give the college drop-out Angelina Jolie an A and give Lucy Lui, who you say speaks five languages and has a degree, a B+? You should simply give the information and omit the “grade.”