3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage

When two people make the commitment to marriage they are saying that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, "in sickness and in health, in good times and bad" for ever and ever. Sadly it doesn't always work that way. In the United States nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Think of the last two weddings you attended. Statistically one of those will fail. If your relationship is headed down that road, you should know that you can save your marriage .



With a little work you can save your marriage and return to the happier times. There is a very simple three step process that you should follow to go from the situation you are in now, where you are looking for a solution, through to the situation you want to be in, where your marriage is as happy as it once was.



Step One: Decide That You Want It.



This may sound like a simple step, but it's really not. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It's all very well to say you want to save your marriage. But it's all very well to say you want to lose weight as well, and we all know that doesn't necessarily mean it is going to happen. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. Your purpose in life needs to become singular. Your purpose in life is now simply this: saving your marriage.



What does that mean? It means you should be willing to do everything possible to save your marriage. Everything you are doing you should be asking "will this help fix my marriage?". The answer should always be yes.



You may think: Yes, I want to save it, but my spouse doesn't. That's ok. If you put forth the effort, and do not put pressure or guilt on your spouse, you will usually see a turnaround in their behavior as well. Nothing is 100% guaranteed, but I've seen it work before and it can work for you.



Remember, your spouse fell in love with you before. They can fall in love with you again too.



Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong.



Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren't the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to in order to save your marriage. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. I personally think it's a great idea to do this over dinner in a nice restaurant. Not only is the mood already set, but the presence of other people will help you keep your emotions in check and help you to avoid raising your voice or arguing. But don't ambush your spouse. Suggest going to your favorite restaurant and, if it's alright, talking about "us."



The best way of starting this conversation is by asking "How can I make you happier?". No matter what your spouse says, it's important to acknowledge it. It's important to them, so it should be important to you. Then say "Okay, what else." Saving your marriage includes compromising and no marriage can last without it. Show your spouse their feelings, wants, needs and desires are important to you. Your spouse needs to truly feel you want them to be happy. And they will be more likely to reciprocate if they see action on your part. You can save your marriage when you respect and love your spouse in this way.



Step Three: Fix It



Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The problem almost always contains the solution. If the problem is "I don't feel I have enough time with you" then the solution has already presented itself. Likewise if it is "I don't have enough time to myself" you can move the other way. The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them in order to save your marriage.



So there it is. Three simple steps to fixing your marriage. It's not any sort of rocket science or secret formula. And anyone who tells you it is, run (don't walk) away from them!. But while it's not easy, it is simple. If you follow through the steps you can save your marriage and be on your way back to a healthy and fulfilling relationship