The Top 5 Creepiest Depictions of Exercise in a Music Video
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Categories: 2010 Music
Lists
First of all, let's just say "Go
Giants!" We're so proud of our boys for making it to the
play-offs, and are hoping and praying they can whoop Philly's ass
and take us to the World Series. As usual though, all this gleeful
anticipation got us thinking about music videos - sporty ones. Then
we found a pile that weren't particularly kind to our eyeballs.
Here then are the top five creepiest depictions of exercise in a
music video.
2. Olivia Newton John "Physical"
5. Against Me! "White People For Peace"
If, like us, you were bullied relentlessly for being a music
nerd in high school, football players are creepy enough when
they're just doing their usual thing. Against Me! took those old
phobias and kicked them up a notch with this video, in which the "players"
(some of them vomiting blood) beat each other's faces in with
massive guns. The skinny grey dude in the bathroom doesn't help
either. Thanks, Gainesville punks, for giving us nightmares.
4. New Order "World In Motion"
Soccer anthems are a big deal in the U.K., especially around
World Cup time, but New Order really did themselves a disservice
with
a song that makes us yell "You used to be Joy Division! What
the hell happened?!" every time we hear it. Our favorite bit is
when soccer player John Barnes, is doing his horrendous "rap" in
the middle, while Lily Allen's actor dad (no really, Keith Allen is
a big deal in Britain) watches on and gestures wildly for reasons
that escape us.
3. Kenny Loggins "Playing With The Boys"
3. Kenny Loggins "Playing With The Boys"
There's this gym on Valencia St. in the Mission District that
has these huge windows so everyone can see you working out. We've
always thought it takes a brave soul to exercise in front of drunk
people going about their business, but the video for
"Playing With The Boys" takes it to the next level. Imagine trying
to play volleyball with a chirpy, be-mulleted, leather-jacketed
Kenny Loggins watching you with his beady eyes and creepy uncle
beard, and singing all the while. We would literally die:
2. Olivia Newton John "Physical"
Here's Sandy from Grease with an innuendo-strewn song and a
video
exploiting fat people on exercise bikes and treadmills, and
choking them on massage tables (presumably for being slobs or
something). Do we really need to zoom in on vibrating buttocks? Or
watch Newton John showering with a headband on? The answer we're
looking for here is "No." (Props to Olivia, though, for her
roundabout endorsement of gay love at the end.)
1. Eric Prydz "Call On Me"
1. Eric Prydz "Call On Me"
It's doubtful that we ever really need to see
thong-up-the-butt action in music videos as it is, but this clip is
basically the worst example we've ever seen of objectification of
women in a music video. Ever. Like, worse-than-"The Thong
Song"-bad. There are so many gratuitous spread-leg crotch shots, we
feel like we accidentally stumbled across gross '80s porn in a late
night channel-surfing expedition. If up-close-and-personal breast
grabbing and butt-slapping is your thing, by all means, hit the
Internet -- putting it in a video to this graphic a degree is just
icky.
Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown and @Raemondjjjj
Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown and @Raemondjjjj
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Network:
Somewhere
between folk art and pop art lies the do-it-yourself wasteland of
local advertising. It wasn't easy, but we scoured hours of badly
scripted, poorly acted and unfortunately conceived local
commercials to pluck the worst -- but most entertaining -- ads
filmed by small-business owners around the land. (Or at least the
ones that made it onto YouTube before they died of shame.)
The Commodore Vic-20 still holds a special place in my heart, it was my first computer and I still have it. Hooked it up a few weeks ago to find it still works too!
http://www.privacy-tools.es.tc
I love that Shatner plugged a PC since most of the Trek Episodes were about the “Rise of the machine!”. Way to pick em commodor.