Recently I had my first golf lesson with a professional golfer.
Now, this is not the first time that I had played golf - I picked
up a golf club for the first time approximately 9 months ago and
subsequently played on and off with friends. I studied a few golf
books and received a few good tips from my friends, but frustration
finally sent me in search of professional help.
At the lesson, the first thing I did was hit some golf balls
whilst the coach watched. Then, he told me this: “first, we are
going to work on the 4 fundamentals of golf: grip, stance, posture,
and alignment”. If you think about each of them - grip, stance,
posture, and alignment - you can imagine why it was that I did not
hit too many golf balls in that first lesson. The swing - that all
important element that is the final determinant of how the ball is
hit - would not be the focus until I had the fundamentals under
control.
This golf lesson got me thinking. It seems to me that there are
certain fundamentals not only in golf, but in life, that we should
have under control before we turn our attention to loftier
ambitions. For example, many people who desire wealth will begin
investing (the swing) without developing any financial intelligence
(the fundamentals).
For the non-golfers out there, another great metaphor is the
construction of your dream home. Imagine you are wanting to build a
beautiful, multi-level home (your life). Once the site is prepared
and you are ready to build, the first step is the laying of the
foundation (the fundamentals). It is crucial that this foundation
is strong, for if it is upon this that the rest of the house is
built.
Here then are what I consider to be 30 fundamentals of a
wonderful life. Yes -I’m sure there are more, but if you can manage
to get each of these under control you will have a strong
foundation upon which to build a wonderful life.
Success
Defining what success means to YOU: success
will mean different things to different people. In these modern
times, traditional ideas of success involving impressive job titles
and high salaries are being challenged by such ideas as “time
affluence”. Decide what is important to you, and don’t waste time
chasing someone else’s idea of success.
Strong work ethic: expecting great success
without being willing to work hard for it is a recipe for
mediocrity. If it seems that others just get lucky, remember the
following quote from the famous golfer Gary Player:
“The harder I work, the luckier I get.” - Gary Player
Focus on adding value: stop focusing on what
you want, and start thinking of how you can add
value to other people. When you help other people get what
they want, they will be more willing to help you.
Abundance mentality: this is the understanding
that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody.
With this mentality, you are willing to share prestige,
recognition, and profits.
Motivation: what drives you to succeed? When
you understand the reasons behind what you do (eg to provide for
your family), you will gain purpose and clarity.
Goals: there have been numerous studies that
have shown people who set goals are more likely to succeed than
people who do not. By setting goals, you focus your attention on a
target which, in turn, focuses your mind on finding ways to get
there.
Personal Growth
A curious mind: a curious
mind loves to learn new things. If you have ever
watched a small child play you will know exactly what I mean.
So instead of just accepting things “as is”, ask yourself the
questions: What? How? Why? Who? When?
An open mind: some of our beliefs and actions
are so ingrained that we automatically disregard any evidence that
we should think or act otherwise. Keep an open mind, and you may
just come across a better way of seeing or doing things.
A willingness to change: it is one thing to
want to live a better life, but are you really willing to
make the necessary changes? The following quote explains this
concept perfectly:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting different results” - Albert Einstein
Defining your values and principles: who are
you? What are you about? And what do you value? If you don’t have
one already, I highly recommend taking the time to write a
personal mission statement.
Awareness:
are you on autopilot? If so, turn it off and decide to live
consciously. In short, this means to being committed to
awareness as a way of existing in the world. Awareness of your
beliefs, awareness of your own power, and awareness of your freedom
to choose your own destiny.
Self-discipline: you may have the best
intentions in the world, but without self-discipline you will fall
victim to the temptation. If you have problems with
self-discipline, burn the following quote into your memory and
recall it whenever temptation arises:
“The price of discipline is always less than the pain of
regret”
Happiness
The ability to enjoy the now: it’s important to
plan for the future, but too many people have “destination
addiction” which means they can’t enjoy then present. Stop. And
enjoy this very moment….
Find your purpose: in his book
Happier, author Tal Ben Shahar defines happiness as:
“The overall experience of pleasure and meaning.”
Different people find different ways to fill their life with
meaning. One thing is clear though: meaning comes from developing a
sense of purpose.
Gratitude: instead of focusing on what you
don’t have, try appreciating what you do have. If
you are reading this, chances are you are better off than the vast
majority of the world’s population.
Quality relationships: happiness is closely
linked to the quality of your relationships in your life. Take the
time to keep in touch with friends and family.
Perspective: when things get tough, it is so
important to be able to step back and
gain some perspective on life.
Accepting those things that cannot be changed:
I have always loved the profound wisdom of the following quote,
commonly known as the Serenity Prayer:
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that
cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be
changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Wealth
Financial intelligence: before investing in
real estate or the stock market, invest in yourself by developing
your own financial intelligence. As they say, knowledge is
power.
Spend less than you earn: to gain wealth, you
must spend less than you earn. Just consider the opposite for a
moment: if you spend more than you earn, you are accumulating
debt.
Proper management of debt: have you ever felt
up to your eyeballs in debt? It’s not a good feeling. There are
circumstances where debt is good, but if you fall into the debt
trap you can become a slave to making the repayments.
Patience: Without patience, you will be drawn
towards high risk investments such as speculative stocks or get
rich quick schemes. Sure there are some winners who get rich quick,
but there are also a lot of people who get hurt (especially if they
haven’t taken the time to develop their financial intelligence). Be
prepared to get rich
slowly.
Adequate protection of assets: it is one thing
to accumulate assets, but if they are not adequately protected you
may be in for an unpleasant surprise. Life does go awry every so
often, so be prepared.
Health
Recognize the importance of your health: it is
often said that “your health is your wealth”. Many people do not,
however, appreciate their health until it is gone.
Save yourself a lot of pain, and learn from others’
mistakes.
Exercise: if you want to be fit and healthy,
you must exercise.
A healthy diet: there is truth to the old
saying “you are what you eat”. If you want to live a long and
healthy life, make sure you maintain a healthy diet. Yes, this is
common sense - but common sense does not necessarily translate to
common practice.
Relationships
Treat others as you would like to be treated:
this is known as the Ethic of Reciprocity, or the “Golden Rule”.
Imagine if everyone lived by this principle.
Love yourself: I don’t mean this in a vain
sense. I just believe that before asking another person to love
you, you should take the time to find things you love about
yourself.
Have good manners: good manners are said to be
the lubricant of social interaction. Saying “please” shows you
respect someone, and saying “thank you” tells them you appreciate
them.
Be real: show a genuine interest in
other people. And don’t be afraid to let them see the real you,
even if it means you feel vulnerable. I believe it is when you are
at your most vulnerable that people fall in love with you.
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Great article Peter– really good synopsis on basic fundamentals that we ALL should focus on….
I second that - it’s an excellent read.
Thanks guys.
Real Nice Peter, I strive to not let all the Negative come near all the Positive I want. TY
great article. i think perspective is one of the most under-rated fundamentals in the list. it’s very helpful to remember that no matter what you are going through, other people have been there, other people are there, and a lot of them may have it a lot worse. thoughts like this can really open the heart and take the “edge” out of painful experiences.
Great article. I like “destination addiction” that’s catchy and stuck with me!
I really like the ‘add value’ element you’ve included here. It reminds me of the book Truth in Comedy about improvisational comedy and how it is important to first affirm what the other people have done and then add something of your own to the mix. In the book it is called “Yes, and….”