It’s back! The list you love to hate to love. What a difference a year makes. Several of the ladies who appeared on the 2010 version of this list have been removed. The reasons for several of them not making the list this year is that apparently people out there agreed with us and stopped paying attention to them. We see that as a sign of progress. Unfortunately there was a whole new batch of ladies waiting in the wings to take their place as those undeserving of the praise they receive.
And that’s what this list is all about. It’s not that we don’t find these women attractive. We’d probably take any of them out for breakfast at the local IHOP or overly laugh at a mediocre joke coming out of their mouths. But the reality is that they just aren’t as deserving as the hype they receive from both the media and from fans. This list is all about trying to gain some perspective on these women. Are they sexy? For the most part. Do they deserve all the attention they get? We don’t think so.
Of course, the one celeb that you absolutely love will probably be on this list, but beauty is subjective, so take the into consideration before scrolling down to the comment box and calling us gay. Okay, enough yammering, on to this year’s list.
(Note: If you do happen to be in love/lust with one of these women, you can see more of her by clicking her picture. We, as always, aim to please.)
66 Any WWE Diva (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
We get the fascination. They’re athletic. They
sometimes do salacious things (though not as much as they used to,
dammit). And they’re wrestling each other. Problem is, close up
most of them look like free safeties with boob implants and about a
pound of makeup on their face. Plus
Snooki did as adequate a job with their vocation as any one
else on the roster. Not exactly a crowning moment for the WWE
gals.
65 Kirsten Dunst (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
Kirsten is set to appear in not one,
but three movies in 2011. Three! We love the fact that she’s a
skinny-yet-buxom gal and that she played a creepy vampire at an age
where we were rolling in Big Wheels. But still, have you seen one
of her movies?
64 Jennifer Love Hewitt (2010
Rank: 44)
As we have pointed out in the past, the memory is a
dangerous thing. It can fool you if you aren’t careful. Sure the
memories of J-Love bouncing around avoiding a fisherman with a hook
hand are highly cherished. Even the ghosts wouldn’t want to talk to
her any more if they didn’t remember that
treadmill scene from “Heartbreakers”.
63 Kate Hudson (2010 Rank:
51)
No one ever ranks Kate Hudson on their Hot Lists, but
she keeps getting movie role after movie role so a whole bunch of
people must like her. They don’t go to her movies or talk favorably
about her but, hey, that’s got to count for something. Plus anyone
who led to a resurgence of A-Rod’s career deserves nothing but our
disdain.
62 Kaley Cuoco (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
I like Kaley Cuoco. I thought she killed in
Hop. I’d go out on a date with her in a heartbeat. I’d let
her do bad things to me. And sure humor is a trait that men find
attractive in a woman, but I still have a hard time buying that she
is the 13th hottest woman in the world (Maxim). Being the
hot chick on a show honoring geeks can only carry you so far.
61 Katrina Bowden (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
Esquire readers say that she’s the
sexiest woman in the world. Really? The sexiest? In the world?
Playing the ditzy blonde on 30 Rock for 10 seconds every
five episodes sure carries a lot of weight these days, we
suppose.
60 Alicia Keys (2010 Rank:
56)
Alicia is a very attractive woman. Alicia is a very
talented woman. When you combine the two men do things like vote
her to the #43 ranking of the most desirable women in the world
(Askmen). We don’t know about you, but we can name 43
other women we find more desirable and it would take us
about 30 seconds. 20 seconds if we do this test at a bus stop in
Brazil.
59 Brittany Snow (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
Nothing like a spread in Maxim to get men to
drool. Sure, she’s pretty — most if not all of these ladies are
very pretty — but those guys could take a woman off the street,
slap some makeup on her, put her in some good lighting, and then
Photoshop the hell out of her and we’d all be saying how hot she
is. (Ranked #23 by Maxim, almost twice as high as the criminally
underrated and talented
Emma Stone.)
58 Whitney Port (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
What is with chicks on reality shows that makes men
overvalue their sexiness? Yes, Whitney is attractive. But just
because you got to see her on your 52 inch doesn’t mean she’s any
hotter than a dozen other girls you can actually see in person by
taking a walk through your local mall. Especially when her main
skill sets are “Being that chick next to Lauren Conrad” and
“Orchestrating a bikini slip with paparazzi” (Ranked #62 by
Maxim.)
57 Kristen Bell (2010 Rank:
55)
Kristen was ranked #48 by Askmen this year. As in the
48th most desirable woman on the planet. Apparently a lot of men
desire a woman who looks like about 10,000 other nice-looking women
on the planet. Must be a comfort thing.
56 Keira Knightley (2010 Rank:
53)
If you took a picture of Keira Knightley’s body and
showed it to 100 men and asked them if they thought it was sexy,
how many men do you think would say yes? Maybe we’re way off, but
we’d guess less than half of them. Now take a picture of Italian
model
Elisabetta Canalis’ body and show it to those same men and what
would the answer be? Unless they’re big Peter Pan fans, we don’t
love Keira’s chances (Askmen ranked Keira #54, Elisabetta at #74.
FHM had Keira at #69.)
55 Maria Sharapova (2010 Rank:
19)
One of these days men are going to stop overrating
women based on their athletic ability (see:
Daniel Tosh’s thoughts on the matter). Actually that probably
will never happen, but I wish they would because there is no way
Maria (ranked #80 by Askmen.com readers) should be ranked ahead of
UFC sexpot
Arianny Celeste. That just shouldn’t happen.
54 Kristin Cavallari (2010
Rank: Unranked)
Kristin, formerly one of the stars of Laguna
Beach and The Hills is somehow still garnering
people’s attention long after those two shows bit the dust. Now
she’s most famous for being engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback
Jay Cutler ensuring that just when we thought we were done with
her, we’re not. Here’s hoping at the wedding, she doesn’t channel
her new husband during the bouquet toss, otherwise there’s going to
be one very confused little ring boy.
53 Rachel Uchitel (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
If there’s one thing we men love it’s a babe involved
in a sex controversy. And Rachel Uchitel was the queen of the sex
controversy in the last year. She’s also been prone to hitting
the beach in a bikini. Both good things, but let’s not get
carried away. When Tiger Woods considered
this Perkins waitress to be as mistress-qualified as Uchitel
was, she should have never been heard from again.
52 Gisele Bundchen (2010 Rank:
54)
I still don’t get how
Gisele was the highest paid model in the world last year.
Again. Controversial statement alert: She’s got a bit of a man
face. And she also got Tom Brady stank on her. When the male yin to
your yang
takes photos like this on a waterslide, you just lose points by
association.
51 Taylor Momsen (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
The former star of Gossip Girl has been on
quite a roll in the last year. She went from one of the sexiest,
cutest pieces of jailbait on the planet to one of the most
egomaniacal, most annoying kids on the planet. The good news is
that the further along this path she goes, the less people care
about her.
50 Kelly Osbourne (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
Men sure do love a fat chick gone skinny. And so does
Hollywood. Especially when that fat chick is the spawn of another
famous person. But did you know that she is the face of Madonna’s
fashion line Material Girls? (She replaced Taylor Momsen for
reasons already stated). Which leads us to ask, “Umm, why?” Maybe
it’s ironic, like selling Che Guevara shirts at Hot Topic.
49 Bridget Marquardt (2010
Rank: Unranked)
Holly has a show in Vegas, Kendra’s dancing with the
stars, and Bridget still somehow just shot a pilot for yet another
reality show. She’s the only one of the three who wasn’t an actual
Playboy Playmate which just proves that, despite his withered frame
and approaching senility, Hef knew what he was doing then and what
others need to realize now.
48 Hilary Duff (2010 Rank:
31)
Hilary falls into a couple of categories for why I
think men overvalue her sexiness. One, she’s a former kinda sexy
child star (no pedo), and she’s now a WAG (the double bonus!).
We’re just glad she wasn’t born and raised in England or there’s
probably be currency with her face on it by now. (Ranked #40 by
Maxim.)
47 Amber Rose (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
First thing’s first: What. Is with. The hair? I get it
that she’s dated Kanye and now Wiz Khalifa, but other than that,
why do we know her and have to hear about her? There are a million
girls with gigantic asses who we’re sure would also be willing to
take backshots from hip hop stars but don’t have hair like
an extra from 1980s TV hit Alien Nation.
46 Caroline Wozniacki (2010
Rank: Unranked)
Men just love it when a female athlete is even remotely
attractive so when one comes along that rates above a 7 and is
actually good at her sport we tend to go overboard with praise.
Much like Maria Sharapova, this is another one of those
cases.
45 Katherine Heigl (2010 Rank:
Unranked)
Why is this woman still famous? No one likes her so it
has to be her looks, right? That’s the only explanation I can come
up with. Which brings me back to my initial question: Why is this
woman still famous?


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