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A study of personality types once found that as a group, serial
killers scored highest in "superficial charm, an exaggerated sense
of self-worth, glibness, lying, lack of remorse and manipulation of
others." The other highest-scoring group for these undesirable
traits?
Politicians.
Again and again science has found that being in charge not only
attracts terrifying douchebags, but creates them as well. And with
that, here's the scariest article you'll read this month:
#5.
Power and
Self-Absorption Go Hand in Hand
Try something for us. Write the word "ASS" on your forehead with
a marker. If you refuse to do that, just picture yourself writing
it, but really imagine you have the letters up there.
Hold that thought.
Science says there is a very logical reason that those in power
don't actually give a damn about you: They are too busy thinking
about themselves. There are several reasons for this, according to
research.
First, researchers
found that in leaderless situations, those with high opinions
of themselves will take charge, for better or for worse. Well, that
makes sense -- they think they're awesome, so of course they think
they should be in charge. The problem, though, is that this same,
often unwarranted, confidence also persuades the followers to
follow them. And so they climb through the ranks by basically being
the biggest loudmouth braggarts in the room.
"Kanye West" is a position of power,
right?
The other problem is that the narcissistic types can manage to
lead effectively -- for the short
term. They're great at convincing everyone they have all the
answers, but at the end of the day they can't take their eyes off
their own self-interest long enough to focus on long-term goals
such as "not losing all of our money." Actually being in power only
makes it worse, which brings us back to the ASS on your
forehead.
When you drew the imaginary letters, where did the letter "A"
wind up? On your left, so that the word reads normally if you look
in a mirror? That's how a lot of people would do it -- after all,
that's the way you write things. Left to right.
Unless you're Asianese.
But that would be making the word backward for anyone else
trying to read it. If you took the time to stop and consider that,
and then carefully wrote the letters and word backward so it would
be readable to a person facing you, that says a lot about your
outlook toward other people.
They actually did that experiment in a
study at Northwestern University. They randomly assigned a
group of people to hold a position of power during the study, and
assigned another group to a position where they'd have no power at
all. Later, they gave everyone a simple task: Draw a capital letter
"E" on their own foreheads. Same as we had you do with the word
ASS.
The results were startling. People in the powerful group were
almost three times as likely to carelessly draw the letter so
that it was unreadable to anyone else. Those in the powerless
group were the ones who stopped, thought about it and turned the
letter around so that others could read it.
Not pictured: consideration for other
people.
That's right: Even meaningless, arbitrary power, assigned purely
for the experiment, was enough to make the subjects less likely to
stop for a few seconds and consider the perspectives of others. Now
imagine what an actual position of power would do.
Oh, we're just getting started here.
#4.
Feeling Powerful
Makes It Easier to Lie
It's estimated that the
average person lies up to six times a day -- it's even
considered an
important developmental milestone in babies, which presumably
means that nobody will accept you as a person until you figure out
how to make shit up to keep yourself out of trouble. So you can
imagine how much politicians and CEOs have to bullshit us on a
minute-to-minute basis to get their reputations. Well, there's a
scientific reason they are the way they are.
Warning: Exposure to truth may cause
anaphylaxis.
You'd think this would be obvious -- that liars tend to get into
positions of power because they're so good at lying (and science says
you're right), but there's a much weirder factor at play.
Researchers at Columbia
Business School used a similar setup to the "E" experiment
above, where they did a role-play that divided subjects into
leaders and subordinates. Leaders were even given a fancy, large
office; the underlings got a small, windowless room. All of them
were then tempted to lie (they found a $100 bill and were put in a
situation where they'd have to lie about it to the people running
the experiment if they wanted to keep it).
We'd probably just have grabbed the $100 and bolted
for the parking lot.
After a nice round of vigorous lying, both groups of subjects
were tested for stress hormone levels. Researchers also studied a
video-tape of the subjects lying their asses off. The result, in
their words:
"Low-power individuals showed the expected emotional, cognitive,
physiological, and behavioral signs of deception; in contrast,
powerful people demonstrated no evidence of lying across emotion,
cognition, physiology, or behavior."
Once more, that's after a couple of hours of completely fake
power. These people were chosen at random, but when they were
stuffed into a fancy room that made them feel like big-shots, their
feelings of guilt about lying melted away.
And that made them better liars; it's those unpleasant feelings
of guilt and stress that cause the physical cues that let people
know we're lying. Add a feeling of power to the mix and the
opposite happens. In fact, instead of negative emotions, the study
found that a powerful person actually experiences a positive
internal response. These people feel joyful relaxation as a
result of lying their fucking faces off.
It's almost as if the feeling of being in power made them think
the normal rules of morality didn't apply to them. Which leads us
to ...
Ted Haggard. And also this next point.
#3.
Experiments Show
Power and Hypocrisy Are Linked in the Brain
This one goes a long way toward explaining the almost endemic
hypocrisy of politicians and business leaders we see in the news
every day. It explains why so many
vehemently
anti-gay
politicians and
religious leaders are creepy sexual deviants. It explains why
banks are
currently refusing to lend to anyone while giving their
employees
huge
bonuses with
bailout money. And it explains why the Senate voted itself a
pay raise on the same day it
refused to increase the minimum wage.
"Why? Because fuck them, that's why."
Once again, this is something that can be tested in experiments,
and once more the correlation goes the opposite way you'd
expect.
A Dutch researcher mixed things up this time, using five
different experiments to try to instill a sense of power in people
using different methods, presumably to make sure it wasn't anything
particular to a specific kind of role-playing that got the
results.
They tried 3.5, GURPS and Shadowrun.
In one experiment, he took random subjects and had them
role-play in a fictional government, so that some would have
positions of power (aka prime minister) while others would be
peons, like in the previous experiment. But other groups would, for
instance, be asked to vividly describe a time when they held a
position of power, in an effort to get them into the same mood they
experienced when they were in that role. No one involved knew what
the experiment was trying to uncover.
Later the subjects were given a questionnaire with gray-area
moral questions (such as, is it OK to exceed the speed limit if
you're late for an appointment). After just that brief period of
feeling powerful, the role-playing prime ministers were more ready
than the peons to say they would bend the rules if they needed to.
But when asked other hypothetical questions that tested
whether they thought it was OK for other people to skirt
the rules, the prime ministers were harder on the rule-benders than
the peons.
Nobody gives peons a break.
No matter how the researcher went about instilling the feelings
of power, the results were the same: Within minutes, a
feeling of power flips a switch in the brain that says, "The rules
now do not apply to me. BRING ME A WHORE."
A WHORE, I SAY!
But even stranger, the people induced to feel powerless went the
opposite way -- they actually were more self-critical than they'd
normally be. Think about what that says about society: The people
who are already powerless, as a result feel like they're less
worthy to be in power and thus stay powerless.
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massage therapist for models.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUWE–SvLp8
Backstage wardrobe stylist for every Victoria Secret Fashion show.
Sean Combs (aka P. Diddy) – Recording Artist/Entrepreneur/Urban Gentleman
Who wouldn’t want that lifestyle?
Anthony Bourdain’s job would be my dream job…gets to travel, eat, have a good time, and be paid a lot.
being a concert promoter involves a lot of long hours, and lost hearing – it’s definitely not all it’s cracked up to be.
Oh, and my dream job? Pie tester. MMMmmmmmm pie.
it happens penguin falls on its back and nobody can help it to stand up. that is why there is a special man who cares after fallen penguins and helps them to keep alive. I wanna have this job: Pole, white snow and me
This is an easy one for me – Travel writer.
The chance to travel around the world and see all the places I’ve read about in National Geographic throughout the years.
Hey that’s the Hop Cast with Jonathan Cutler!
I’d go for the brewmaster job. I’m a homebrewer and a chemical engineer, so getting to play with the big brewing equipment would be a lot of fun.
I want to be a subway token person, just like that guy I saw sleeping on T.V!!
Gene Simmons – Get to be the Demon all day long and have hot women throw themselves at you.
Although nowadays he is in his footsie jammies by 9pm…
But I would like to be Terry Richardson for day as well!
uhh… Mythbusters?
I read the R. Lee Ermey section in his voice.
I would want to be a professional mattress tester…
pro skateboarder.
get paid pretty good money, travel around the world, and have no schedule at all. The only responsibility would be to sign a few autographs and have someone film you do what you already do for free.
I DO have a job most men would like to have ….. i know because, almost everyday, more than just a few tell me so!
I work freelance (my own boss, my own descisions!)as a guitar tech for many different major metal and hard-rock bands. I hang with rock stars all day, sleep in late – even on work days, make great money , travel the world, and have several, WILLING AND READY! women around me at backstage or overnight parties so frequently … it gets almost boring sometimes.
You can keep all those jobs listed in this article … sorry, they just DON’T compare.
talk show host for a traveling food show + fitness show in one (to avoid the weight gain!)
Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy :]
an internationaly recognized comic creator
My dream job would be a concert promoter, since the only thing that i find solace in is music i think that would be a terrific job, that or a sound mixer.
For my “Dream Job,” I would like to own a chain of Bikini Wax / Bra Fitting franchises. I would have weekend specials on Taint Bleaching and full body spray tan applications. The cost of all services would be based on weight and/or body odor. I haven’t worked out the name yet, but I’d certainly have to reference KFC somehow. Colonel Handers? Chicks and Waffles? I’ll work on it.
My 12yr of experience, $40 an hour journeyman electrician position (laid-off since May). You know keep the house and car, support my family, all that mundane s**t.
Thong Designer
George Steinbrenner in his prime. Own the Yankees, say whatever you want, I’d take it.
Best job ever, Pyrotechnician, blow stuff up for bands like Metallica, GNR, Maiden, Rush, KISS and a ton of others. Work with fire and ice effects And you get to tour with kickass bands. It’s a win win.
comic book artist
I have a dream job. I am an anthropologist/archaeologist and I spend my time traveling to many places and visiting with and learning about how people in different places and diffeenet times live. For a people-watcher, this is an ideal job and I love it. When I go away, friends ask me if I am going away for plasure or for work. I respond yes!!
Are you kidding me man. Number one is Hugh Hefner life. what the fuck? Your head is up your ass with this post!!!
I dare say it would have been nice to be the “inventor” of that silly little thing that seems be really catching on. What are the kids calling it these days? Ahh, ummm, oh yeah, Microsoft. That would be sweet. If not that, being the worlds greatest computer hack ever might suffice. Just think about how nice it would digitally pilfer the accounts of every drug lord on the face of the planet provided you could get clean away with it.
Beyonce..rich,talented,beautiful,popular..
who wouldn’t want that?!
my dream job would be to grow legal cannabis.
We tallied up a whopping 5 votes and we have a winner. In our next lives we want to be Freelance Guitar Techs – the music, the tours, the groupies AND you get to sleep late? Sold!
Congrats “Me leaves a comment!” we’ll shoot you an email shortly.
J-Lo used to have someone touring with her whose job it was to tweek her nipples. What a job that would be.
“Sean Combs (aka P. Diddy) – Recording Artist/Entrepreneur/Urban Gentleman
Who wouldn’t want that lifestyle?”
Anyone who doesnt like being a douche.
Country music bass player. All the royalties, fame, cow girls, and you only have to know 3 notes!
How about an animal psychologist? I knew one in Calif. Where do you get a degree for that? Can’t be sued for malpractice, and the guy even set up 2 times a week sessions for a dog that was moving out of state. All for the paltry sum of $150/hr. THAT is a job!
not to dis concert promoting as a job, but Bill Graham’s been dead for maybe 10 yrs? Granted, his job now is pretty easy, but laying in a moldy box 6 ft underground 24x7x365 is not ideal in my book… I think the guitar tech has it nailed!
Professional wine reviewer, you get to travel, drink, eat great food….drink.
Rocco Siffredi. Best job ever.
I know all of you are thinking it but no one is saying it, so ill say it……
MALE PORNSTAR!!
i dont get it? was that not obvious?
I’d want the Harmonix job. I’m a woman though.
I teach male anatomy to female med students… It is like a braille anatomy class. They use me to learn all about male anatomy. It is a hands on class… I love my work!
bill gates. need i say more.
Long-snapper in the NFL.200 grand a year and the best seat in the stadium for about 6 snaps a game.
photographer for playboy and hustler
Fitting specialist in a lingerie store
Frank Miller has basically always been my God, i love the mans work
Those guys that review gourmet restaurants
And those who find out video game codes
RUSS MEYER, gazillion Xs better than Tarentino
JUNKYARD WARS whatever!
ERRR…WTF … hugh hefner?
I know all of you are thinking it but no one is saying it, so ill say it……
MALE PORNSTAR!!
i dont get it? was that not obvious?
posted by the man
on February 11th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Are you sure about that i dont but i guess there is porn movies for gays. you should clarify that.
in other words just get money,success or sth different you dont need be porn star to hook up someone.
I AM a brewmaster. Does that mean I win?
Remember Michael Jackson? The dead one? No, the LONG dead one? He had the greatest job in the world.
If you don’t know who I mean, he was known as “The Beer Hunter”.
Porn star and weed quality tester
Richard Branson is the man. He owns his own island and just rolls in dough.
BE A PHOTOGRAGHER IS A DREAM
designing really shitty things then getting a laugh because some marketing genius sells them for an extraordinary amount of money
))) it’s sooooo much fun
I’d like to pick the winner!
Sniper
Hi! My dream job would be a product tester! Need to test cross cuntry skis, new hotels, massage cream, clothes, sexual items, and goto different locales to test them? I’d love that!
I wanna be Sidney Crosby
What you guys seem to forget is that after a while, its a job just like any other, no matter how great it sounds…. you get calloused to it.
Do you have any idea how often I hear about how I have the greatest job in the world? Minimum a few times a week.
What do I do?
I am a bouncer at a large, famous, and extremely popular strip club. I meet celebrities and sports players regularly, oh, and did I mention we have about 150 girls that work there? That’s 300 very perky bare titties that rub against me on a regular basis! Did I mention we’re a full-nude club? No wussy topless-only stuff! And no, we don’t hire anything and everything here, if a girl’s not at least an 8.5 out of 10, she can work somewhere else. We have a lot of girls that are without a doubt Playboy magazine quality.
BUT
Remember I said it becomes just a job after a while? There are low points, too..
-Dealing with drunken idiots
-Cleaning up broken glass and puke
-Idiots pulling knives, guns, etc. because you threw ‘em out
-Dealing with police because you removed someone who wouldn’t leave willingly, now because you dragged them out and embarrassed them they want to charge you with assault, even if you didn’t hurt them in the slightest (even if you really really wanted to)
-abusive drunken club owner for a boss
So you see, its not all just T & A. We put up with a lot of shit in our job. And I’m sure MOST perfect sounding jobs are like that.
You forgot Anthony Bourdain.
The part where you included Jeremy Clarkson, you should have included James May and Richard Hammond as well.