It’s almost a universal truth that if you’re unhappy with your job, there’s a good chance you’re probably not as happy with life in general as you could be. Everyone has their own opinion on what the perfect dream job entails, but some of those require big fancy degrees and incredibly long hours. And let’s be honest, a lot of Guyism readers (myself included) may not have the chops to cut it as a heart surgeon or fighter pilot. So, here are nine awesome slacker jobs. I have no idea how one acquires some of these jobs, but like just about anything else in life, it’s probably all about who you know.
9 Process Server
In most court cases when someone is being sued a
summons to court must be delivered, notifying them that they’re
about to get screwed. Not every state requires the documents be
handed to the receiving party, so if they refuse to accept the
service or simply jump in their Trans Am and peel out of the
trailer park, but positive identification has been made, then the
documents are considered served and mission accomplished. The job
gives you plenty of free time to dick around while you track people
down and ruin their day. Just don’t expect to make a lot of friends
on the job.
8 Record Store
Clerk
This job may not pay the big bucks but for music
junkies out there who don’t have the talent to play in a band or
simply lack the ambition, it doesn’t get much better. Roll in to
work sometime around 10 or 11 a.m. and listen to your favorite
tunes all day while you rag on the horrible taste of your customers
and discuss the Top Five Hangover Records. And as a bonus, you’ll
have first dibs to new releases, concert tickets, and in-store
appearances from artists.
7 Marijuana
Critic
Denver made headlines earlier this
year when it was announced the Westwood alternative
newspaper would be hiring the nation’s first newspaper medical
marijuana critic. The job: Visit different pot dispensaries, sample
the goods and then write a review. Easy enough, assuming you can
actually remember through the cloud of smoke where you got the
stuff you were smoking. And you’ll never have to worry about your
employer asking you to pee in a cup.
6 Chocolate
Taster
Just about every kid’s dream — getting paid mucho bucks
for sitting around and eating candy. While that is essentially the
job, it requires a little more work. Chocolate tasters must have a
refined palate and know which subtle differences to be aware of
when sampling the chocolates. Now, if you can match this job up
with the marijuana critic, then you, my friend, have truly achieved
the ultimate slacker career.
5 Celebrity Gofer
This “job” can be pretty difficult to
get. You’re generally going to need to be really tight with a
celebrity who trusts you and has enough cash to pay you for driving
them around, feeding their vices and helping them relax when they
might be stressed out. On the major plus side, you can look forward
to the possibility of free rent, food, rides, VIP service, girls
that you couldn’t possibly get on your own and maybe chillin’ with
the rest of their entourage in a rap video. So it’s definitely got
a few perks.
4 Waterslide
Tester
No, I’m not lying, this job actually exist and is just
as awesome as the title implies. If you’re as lucky as Tommy Lynch,
then you get to travel around to resorts and make sure their
waterslides and pools are up to par. In 2008, Mr. Lynch had the
fortune of making everybody he knew insanely jealous as he traveled
the globe testing waterslides in Egypt, Mexico, Jamaica and Greece.
And the best part, no waiting in long lines behind the fat guy with
a gorilla back and five annoying kids.
3 Pro
Surfer/Snowboarder/Skater
Okay, don’t get all defensive and
think that I’m saying these guys don’t have amazing skill and put a
lot of dedication into their respected careers. I realize they’re
terrific athletes. But at the end of the day, they’re getting paid
ridiculous amounts of money for doing something that most of us
only get to do on vacation from our slightly less exciting jobs.
I’m sure if you asked Shaun White or Kelly Slater just how awesome
their jobs are, they wouldn’t have much criticism about the free
swag, fat checks and MTV-worthy cribs.
2 Tropical Island
Caretaker
Imagine spending every day on a tropical island living
in a rent free condo complete with pool and your only
responsibility is to write about the great gig and how you would
trade your left testicle to keep the job. Oh, and you’re pulling in
a cool $100K. That’s exactly the gig Ben Southall landed when he
was selected to be the caretaker of an island off Australia’s Great
Barrier Reef.
While training for a lot jobs might include boring Saturday morning seminars about “company policy regarding TI reports,” Ben’s included snorkeling and beachside buffets.
Read about Ben’s job here.
1 Oil Guy For
Models
I admit that this probably isn’t the correct title for
this job. I don’t even know if it has a correct title. Maybe it’s
photographer’s assistant, but whatever… The point is that those
supermodels you see in magazines that appear to be glistening with
sweat or tanning oil? Somebody has the job of applying that sexy
magic. Somewhere right now in Tahiti or the Greek Isles, there is a
guy spritzing Adriana Lima with water or applying sunscreen to
Alessandra Ambrosio’s backside. Don’t make the same mistake as the
guys in Dumb and Dumber when the Hawaiian Tropic Bus pulls
up alongside you.


No selection was clipped for this page.
Loading...
Amber Rose has an identical twin who also
looks great in a bikini
120 busty and booty-ful beer pong
distractions
The Reef girls are at it again
Oregon cheerleaders lake retreat weekend:
Bikinis, kayaks, fishing & duck faces
The finest body on the Web, guaranteed
(Video)
Logging you in...
Loading IntenseDebate
Comments...
Maggie Q is a hot chick wielding a sword.
Good look
Jillian is exotic and in boy
shorts
The 14 sexiest 3D pictorials of
all-time
How to figure out if your girl is secretly
playing you (and other guys, too)
Rachel Carr's see-through shirt is
impressively sheer [NSFWish]
Other noteworthy Q-nnovations include the Lotus
Espirit Submarine Car from The Spy Who Loved Me, the
Boombox Rocket Launcher from The Living Daylights and the
Wet Bike from the Spy Who Loved Me, a Jet Ski-like craft
that dazzled moviegoers in an era before there were Jet Skis.
From
From
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Digg
Twitter
Fark
Oi, sou do Brasil , gostei de seu blog , eu tive que usar o google tradutor para traduzir seus textos, gostaria que você colocasse algum tipo de tradutor,ou coloque seu site em várias linguagens, obrigado , "translated from Portuguese into English for you to understand my text". conheça meu blog.