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In a large sauce pan, melt
butter in water, and bring to a boil. Add the flour all at once and
stir with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula. Stir until batter
leaves the sides of the pan and forms a ball.
Take
off heat and put the paste in bowl of mixer. Use the paddle to mix
on low speed while adding eggs one by one, allowing each egg to mix
into the batter. Mix until paste is lemon yellow and very
thick.
Spoon
paste into a pastry tube and pipe shapes onto a lightly oiled full
sheet pan or pan lined with silicone baking mat. Smooth out
surface lumps and ridges with a rubber spatula.
Bake at 400 for 25
minutes. They should be very puffy and the inside should be dry.
The puffs will collapse if removed too soon from the oven, so open
the oven door, turn off oven and let the pan cool slowly
inside.
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Bring
butter and water to a boil
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The paste starts to come together
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Spoon it into a
pastry bag
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Add extra at the
end to form a cock
head
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If using whipping cream
for the filling, beat in mixer on high speed till it forms stiff
peaks, then chill. If using pudding, prepare ahead of time
according to package directions, and chill.
Make icing by mixing 2 cups powdered sugar with enough milk or
half and half to achieve desired consistency. Beat until smooth. To
tint our icing to the desired flesh tones, we divided it into four
small bowls and added two drops red food coloring in one bowl, a
drop each of red and yellow food coloring in the second, 1 tsp
instant coffee dissolved in a small amount of water in the third,
and one ounce melted semi-sweet chocolate in the fourth.
To fill cooled pastry shells, carefully slice horizontally with
a sharp knife. Remove top of shell, spoon in a layer of whipped
cream or custard, and replace top gently. To fill the shells
without cutting them, fill a pastry bag or cake decorator with
cream filling and use a long attachment to pipe the ejaculation
cream into the shells.
Use a knife or rubber spatula to spread the icing on the
pastries. If desired use fresh raspberries to create nipples on the
titty cream puffs, and chocolate sprinkles for pubic hair on the
cock eclairs.
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